As a couple, we came to adoption via the experience of infertility – a road which is marked by isolation, a true wilderness experience. I learned to love the book of Job and found myself, like him, wondering, “What did I do to deserve this?”

When God opened doors and led us to Buckner, our sad road of infertility ended with the overwhelming joy of holding our first daughter in our arms.

We decided she should not miss out on having a sibling and went back to Buckner to start the road of adoption again with a high-risk infant adoption. Soon we held our newborn son in our arms.

Knowing there was a real chance the placement would end by the end of the month, we prayed and trusted God. We loved on the little man and he became our “little linebacker.” On the last day of the waiting period we got the call and we entrusted him back into the arms of his bellymom.

It was not an easy road to walk, but there were so many life lessons in it. I experienced what it is like to entrust a child you love into the arms of another woman. We all learned how to grieve and to overcome pain together as a family. I learned to be thankful for anything coming from God.

The biggest help for me was to read in Job how he eventually comes to the conclusion that until the experience of darkness, he had not seen God. He said, “I have heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.”

And in the end that is what our lives are really about: to see God! To forget us and our problems and to stand in awe in front of him.

Dagmar and Christoph Mueller built their family through the Buckner Domestic Infant Adoption program. They live with their two girls in McKinney, Texas.

If you are interested in submitting a devotional for Buckner Faith Focus, please e-mail lhollon@buckner.org.

Sign up here to have our weekly Faith Focus e-mail delivered to your inbox!