Try It. One More Time.
In the early days of our marriage, my husband and I began talking about adoption and our desire to have both biological and adopted children. The first of three of life’s greatest blessings came to us in the form of our 5-year-old biological son. The moment my doctor laid him on my chest I loved him, utterly, profoundly and fiercely. I was undone. Instantly. He. Was. Mine. There was nothing I would not do for him.
The second of three of our life’s greatest blessings came to us October 1, 2009. A tiny, beautiful, chocolate-skinned baby boy crossed the doors of our home. I was undone. Our love for him was immediate, profound and fierce. He. Was. Mine. And there was nothing I would not do for him.
That first night we laid him in his crib and his being a ‘foster child’ wasn’t in the equation.He was our son.
When the quiet of night settled in I finally slipped into bed. Crippling anxiety and fear settled heavily on my mind and heart.
Total panic.
I was shaking.
Breathing irregularly.
My stomach burning.
Thoughts flooding my mind about the last years of our adoption journey and what God had called us to walk through. Three failed adoptions. One in which we literally handed triplet babies back to the birth mom after three weeks.
Thoughts about how we could not go through that again.
And gut wrenching prayers asking God not to break us again.
The next morning I opened my e-mail with the panic, fear, shaking and burning stomach still fresh. A beyond-timely devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries on Luke 5:1-7 was in my inbox.
The disciples had been fishing all night, and caught nothing. Jesus told them to put their nets down again.
“‘Master,’ Simon replied, ‘We worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.’ And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear!”
Jesus told the disciples, “I know you’ve been fishing a long time. I’m telling you to try it again.”
And to me, He quietly said, “I know what’s happened. I know where I have taken you. I know what your heart is like. Try it again.”
I don’t know what it is for you–that ‘thing’ where the answer has been ‘no’ more times than you can count. Whatever it is, try it one more time.
When God presents you another opportunity, and you’re terrified, and Satan reminds you of every single time God didn’t work as you prayed he would, of every single time He walked you through a door and then closed it… Try it one more time.
Satan delights in you questioning God’s faithfulness and his plan. He wants to erode your trust in the only One who is worthy of it. John 10:10 says he comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Christ’s aim is life. Full, abundant life.
So, try it one more time.
When God opens one more door, try it.
There will be a time that it works.
I know, because today that beautiful baby boy’s last name is the same as ours.
Shannan and Kellie Goss, from Midland, came to Buckner Children and Family Services in August 2009. Since their licensure they have fostered four children and adopted two of them.
Prayers of the Week:
-God, remind us to cling to you when we feel anxious and fearful. Help us to trust that you are in control.
-God, give strength today to foster families who open their hearts and their homes to care for and love these precious children for a season.
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